Thirty years in and still no soul mate and prince charming seems to be stuck in an eternal traffic jam. In fear of not being the old lady in a rocking chair surrounded by a million cats, I decided to be open to different ways of meeting potential mates. Yes, I made an online dating profile. I didn’t feel quite creepy enough to pay for a profile so I decided to go join Plenty of Fish. I had no idea what to expect, maybe meet a few handsome lads and exchange some messages just to feel like I was still in the game. I guess I should have looked for a coach or someone to prep me for what I was going to experience. The overwhelming number of messages that found their way into my inbox were almost enough for me to cancel. It was quite confusing since I can’t remember the last time a guy approached me in “real life”. Its either the ads showing how great the odds for meeting someone online are completely false or I’m just some sort of weirdo who attracts weirdos and is destined to be single unless I decide to settle down with a weirdo. Hmmmm, the experience definitely makes me want to re-examine who I am as a person due to the unsettling inquiries from men. Am I really what I attract?
So how am I supposed to respond to this? Should my answer be, “yes, this shawty would love for you to sponsor an all expense paid shopping spree in ATL, I’m flattered?” Oh and by the way, “I love your profile picture, you look really handsome and endearing”. The fact that he said he was a rich man was enough to make me spit my juice out while reading this!
Is this for real? Or is this one of my friends thinking that they are Ashton Kutcher, Punk’ing me? Wait, wait, oh is this guy a comedian? Yea, perfect time and place for jokes. Should I think that his profile picture is so funny that I reply? Ummm sorry but I don’t want to date one of the extras from Coming to America.
This guy’s profile says he is 33 years old. Hmmm, he looks like he has his priorities in order. I think I’ll go for it! His idea of a gourmet meal is probably a two piece dinner at Popeye’s and thats definitely my type of party.
Yeah so my conclusion for now is that I will remain as single as a dollar bill because online dating is not where it’s at, at least for me! I am hoping that these guys are just nervous and awkward like me and just don’t know how to approach women. That would certainly explain why they took the time and energy to construct online profiles. I think I will just wait for prince charming to get out of that traffic jam.
Speed dating, anyone?