It’s tradition to be cliché on the last day of the year and reflect on the past year while simultaneously projecting on the future. I am a firm believer in the whole actions speak louder than words thing so I usually don’t have the hankering to share my thoughts with everyone. This year, I am going to be a little different since I have been an inspiration to some! Whoaaaa that’s really a mouthful, I’m seriously flattered and floored each time someone respects my thoughts and opinions, I’m thinking it’s a blessing to be able to share and spark something in others. Okay so if I could only suggest one goal for the next year, it would be to learn how to be selfish when necessary. I know I know, who is this single girl with no kids talking to? “I have kids, I have a husband, blah blah blah”…LISTEN! I’m talking to every single one of you, no matter your living situation or social status.
First, I think it’s important that we extract the negative connotation built around being selfish. One of my favorite resources, Dictionary.com, defines the word selfish as: devoted to or caring for oneself. Take some time for yourself! Are you hiding from yourself? I think many of us do for avoidance reasons. The greatest feeling is being in tune with your inner being. I dare you to sit in quiet with yourself for five minutes per day and just listen to your thoughts. Take a note pad and dream a little, get your creativity cranking! You can’t be happy without knowing what you want and ultimately working towards it! This is a Shemilaism, it’s one of my strongest beliefs. I have loosely quantified my goals and incorporated them into something visual; a mixture between a vision and goal board. During my five minutes, I’ll be peering at my visual for self-inspiration. Ya see through learning how to be selfish, I’ve learned how to inspire myself! If you have no direction, how do you know where you are going? A life with no goals is like leaving for a trip with no GPS, you will just be going in circles and your destination will never be reached.
Secondly, you should always make a vow to strive to be true and raw with yourself. Pull the wool from over your eyes and face the truth. This can sometimes be hard because living in denial doesn’t hurt as much as facing the truth. The hurt from the truth will serve as a building block in your strength chronicles. When you vow to keep it real with yourself, it becomes easier to distinguish what’s real and fake outside of yourself. None of this comes from a light place because I have faced the nasty truth several times and don’t believe in sugar coating or beating around any bushes. The initial sting may hurt but after pain there is relief, sort of like getting a tattoo. When you are going through it, it does hurt but the end result is something beautiful and something that you desired very much so. You desired it enough to commit to go through the pain.
Thirdly, accept feedback from others and be willing to lend truthful feedback as well. I believe that as a friend, it is my due diligence to always be real. I do not befriend fools and it’s important that if I think someone is going in a foolish direction or on the verge of making a foolish decision that I interject. I don’t fear losing a friendship over telling the truth because if there is no platform for the truth, I shouldn’t be present in the relationship. My friends often seek my opinion because they know it will be raw and nonbiased. I have a circle of fam and friends whom I can honestly say are rooting for me in EVERYTHING that I do and are my biggest fans. Can you say the same? At any point if there is some sort of dishonesty or excessive negativity, the weakest link has to go, goodbye. This is another variation of the ability to be selfish, don’t lose yourself holding onto something that isn’t real!
In being raw and truthful with yourself, you know when it’s okay to be selfish. By knowing when to be selfish, you are working on a better you and therefore your loved ones will benefit. Don’t be afraid to tell others no when you are being pulled in too many directions, your inner being will thank you. I think that often times people forget how easily we can be influenced and affected by the thoughts and actions of others. I am selfish enough to enter hibernation when and I need to and my closest friends and family understand that this is just me tunneling towards my dreams. There are some points in my life that nearly everything is dropped but my work ethic, while I shoot for the stars.
I charge everyone with the task of getting to know you better and converting thoughts into realistic goals. Turn your GPS on and set the destination for happiness. Let’s toast to last year’s trials and next year’s triumphs!
Until next time,