As the poster child for all shoes flat, I rarely wear a shoe that has more than a one inch elevation. I only wear heels on certain occasions like never. Okay well honestly, I feel like on my birthday I should be sassy and put on a pair. Last year, I bought some that were my fav hue: black with my fav accent: gold. Did I ever wear them outside of my living room? No. I was walking like a tranny during her first trip down the runway when I tried them on but still packed them in my suitcase.
I put the whole heel thing on the back burner again until my birthday this year. I began to search for shoes that weren’t stripperheelesque. How did that even become a trend? After I gave up, I stumbled upon some at Kohl’s. I was only in that darned store because I made a trip to my hometown and forget my favorite bra. Kohl’s is the only place that can console my bust.
Oops, I digress, I stumbled upon a pair of nude patent leather Candies that were inspired by those strappy Manolo Blahnik’s with the “chaos cuff”. They were a splitting image of the $725 shoe right there on display for $30. I tried them on and could walk more than five steps so I bought them. Thanks again shoe gods. I wore them twice during my birthday trip/celebration to Georgia, it was great! I was proud. Small step for mankind, gigantic one for Mila!
On that Sunday night:
On that Monday night:
Watch me werk,
The plan is not to settle. It has been, is, and will always be. This means that I will have an everlasting fight. The fight is often times within me rather than with external forces. The fight means that sometimes I have to live in complete uncertainty despite the fact that I am a self-diagnosed control freak. I have taken this crazy oath on a stack of pink Bibles that I will not settle in any aspect of my life. This oath stretches from courtship with men to the letter grade my instructor gives me at the end of a term. I am not perfect so sometimes I do fall short of the high mark I strive for but since my expectations for myself are so high failure is still success. Yes, failure is still success. I am only trying to set myself up to win because I encounter someone losing on almost a daily basis.
Being afraid to exit your comfort zone makes you a loser. As strange as it sounds some people work hard to be a loser and work hard to be unhappy. People are working right now to keep relationships together that should be ended. They are fighting the inevitable and breaking who they are just to be unhappy. They are putting in countless years in at a job eight miserable hours per day, five days a week in some dank office. When you know something is not right, you feel it in your gut but some people seem to just attribute this instinctual feeling to gas and keep treading down the wrong path. I don’t ever want to be one of those people. I think that maybe I don’t go as far in relationship development as most because I don’t believe in using force. I have experienced the beauty of organic friendships and relationships and I would never want anything less.
Living with uncertainty often means that I am summoned to find the silver lining. It means that I must spend more time alone than the average human so that I can keep my thoughts focused and collected. It means that many people will not understand me. It means that some people will have negative feelings toward me because I am able to reject their senseless offerings. It means that I have chosen to take the unpaved road instead of hitting cruise control down that newly paved highway. It means that I am learning how important patience really is. It means that faith is my compass.
I am standing in the gap just working hard with my head down. Watch out because when I look up, I will be one hell of a woman.