Single Redefined

My age is greater than the last time I shared my thoughts and of course once again, I am evaluating my accomplishments and life overall. Where do I want to be? What do I want to achieve next? Ya see, there are several controllables that keep me sane. If I want to be a movie star, I can take acting classes in order to at least feel like I’m working toward my goal. If I want to run a marathon, there’s an application that I can download to my phone that will teach me how to run over a period in time. But those things that I want that I have no control over; those are what haunt me at least once a week, like Michael Myers ready to pounce at any time. The marriage, the husband, the fairytale ending, the “omg I never thought I would find someone to love me” feeling. The other day, a light bulb went off in my head and the heat must have made me schizo for a minute because I heard a voice tell me that being single is not really what it seems. Why does the word have a negative connotation once you hit a certain age or just period? If you don’t have at least like a few exes by the time you graduate high school, you’re a certified weirdo.

According to Webster’s dictionary, the word single means only one in number; one only; unique soul. There are other definitions related to the word such as suitable for one person only, solitary or sole, and unmarried or not in a romantic relationship. Now being the person that I am, I began to dissect these definitions in efforts to retrain my thoughts and find positives. Hmm so unique soul? That is definitely me. See, we were all made to be different and that’s such an attractive thing. I love the fact that I trip over my own feet and laugh it off and that I sometimes snort when I laugh, these are things that make me unique combined with a plethora of other characteristics that would take me countless days to attempt to quantify. Next I thought about what it meant to be solitary or sole, that certainly does not define me. I have a solid support system through my family and friends. As a matter of fact, I would go on to say that a lot of the people in my life admire me and want nothing but for me to excel and grow into a being that I never thought I could be. I have friends who are there that I haven’t talked to in weeks and I have friends that I talk to on a daily basis. I’m blessed and definitely not in any sort of solitude unless I make it my choice.

Why can’t being single be a positive thing? I think it is. I think that once I truly appreciate my uniqueness and accept the fact that yes I’m “unmarried” but I am not in any sort of solitude by any means, that I will become more attractive. We all have struggles due to what we believe life should be like and where we should be in comparison to where we are currently. One of the ways that I was able to grow more confident was “owning” everything that I am. Sometimes I’m a bitch, sometimes I am a pushover, sometimes I’m a slacker, sometimes I’m an over achiever, you get it. Whatever I am, I am me and no one can take that. Today, I own the fact that I am single. I will remain this way until I find someone who will accept all of my weird quirks as well as my colorful group of friends and family that compose my support system.

All my single sistahs, will you own it with me? The world is our runway, let’s work it!

-M

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