I really feel like I need a support group. Some place I can go and just talk some things out. I know that there are tons of people who are just like me. Tons of people who are at the brink of making a crazy leap but still have that daunting fear of falling flat on their face. I know I’m always preaching about fate loving fearless beings. So, what the hell is my problem? Right now, I’m working a job that is stunting my growth and I feel like my wings are clipped every time I sit down at my desk. I yearn for a more challenging and thriving environment, one that is conducive to molding my creativity while I am building stronger technical skills. So what am I waiting for? Am I being patient or am I settling? I think that a dissection is necessary for me to try to discern what’s holding me back.
Do me a favor and Google search, “quotes about settling”. You will be bombarded with tons of quotes that will aid you in empowering yourself to keep moving or to say “No” on your quest to fight for what you want. I think that many people only look at settling in the context of romantic relationships. There is the risk of settling in every aspect of our lives from settling for the potato chips instead demanding from self to do better and hop off the couch and cut up some crunchy veggies to make a healthier option. You can settle with your employer – “Oh, they give me freedom and so much vacation time”. “I have tenure here; I don’t want to start all over again”.
Settling is synonymous with being comfortable. I don’t want to be comfy; I want to be wiggling around, making moves, striving for better, building an empire for myself. How can I do that in the comfort zone? I can’t. This also means I have to extradite people from my life who live in a comfort zone as well. Yes, that’s criminal. How can I thrive with mediocrity all around me? I can’t.
I am one hundred percent sure that patience is my ultimate test. I fail almost on a daily basis and being impatient is why I am not as far as I believe I should be in life. In the past, it has caused me to be unsuccessful in many aspects of my life from financial status to my health and even in friendships/relationships. So right now, where I’m standing, I want to make sure that I make my next move for reasons other than impatience dominating the scenario. I always have a plan but sometimes my impatience causes me to deviate. I have been on track with a career goal that I constructed over a year ago. I have jumped many hurdles that were lined with mini tests of patience but how do I know when to make a major move and that I’m doing it for the right reason? This is why I feel stuck. I feel like this is my biggest test of patience yet and I truly don’t want to fail. Ugh, is that fear sneaking back in? Or am I really supposed to wait?
Now that you can see my plight, it should be more evident as to why I believe that a support group would be beneficial for me. Is there anyone else in this same place as I right now in life? I’m trying to remember my worth, remember what I deserve, and be patient at the same time; a virtual and emotional juggling act for sure.
I’m going to drop this Amelia Earhart quote right here that has been stuck with me this week and drop the mic:
“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.”
Until next time,