That’s What Friends Are For 

  
The depth of a friendship is only as deep as its foundation. Let me break it down with a basic example: if you begin a friendship with someone solely based on your disdain for your co-workers then that is what that friendship is most likely going to be about. When you are with that friend, guess what you are going to talk about? How can this friendship possibly breed positivity or bring out the best in you? A friendship can literally define you, as a person. The other day, I had an epiphany about friendships and it made me begin to re-evaluate every person that I consider a friend. Through this evaluation, there were some pleasant discoveries. I am going to break down how I perceive some of my friendships and how they have helped me evolve into who I am today, consider these to be exhibits. Perhaps they will help you when you are ready to evaluate who is in your life. I feel it is necessary cause honey the non-contributors, they have to go.

 Stage One: Closed Mouths Don’t Get Fed

Okay so, we could consider my evolution by thinking of the life cycle of a butterfly. During the beginning stages of my adult life into my early twenties, I would consider myself to be in the egg stage. As an egg, I was unsure of myself and even had low self-esteem. I struggled with understanding my worth and who I was destined to be in society. I would often suppress my natural need to be creative and different in order to “fit in” or not rock the boat so to speak. The real Mila was being suppressed and screaming and inside of that egg dying to be released. During this stage is where I surrounded myself with people, most who I would consider friends, that were completely opposite of me. They were humorous, outgoing, outspoken, and even wild. These were the people who shook that egg, they woke something up within me. After years of struggling with who I was versus who I wanted to be, it would be found that these friends had created a monster. A beautiful one.

Stages Two and Three: You Are Wonderfully Made

During my larve and pupa stages which occurred in my mid to late twenties, I started to own who I really was. During these stages, in addition to the outspoken friends that I had met, I met a few friends who would help me find my confidence. The friends who helped me start actually living like all of those blog posts and nice sounding quotes about self worth that I had been reading. These friends were girls that I thought were drop dead gorgeous and got all the stares from guys and girls alike when we would go out clubbing. They taught me that I was no different than them and would scold me for putting myself down. The friends that were with me during this stage, they were and still are the most valuable. Learning how to build up my confidence was the most important part of my evolution. It was during these stages that I learned that confidence trumps almost everything else when considering attraction. Confidence and knowing what I am worth literally had positive impacts on every aspect of my life from romantic to career. These stages were the most vital part of my evolution.

Stage Four: Hero

Today, I am flying, I am a butterfly. I know that I have come out soaring and am full of color because there are friends in this stage who come to me for advice and encouragement. The friends that I have acquired during this stage may still be considered to be eggs. I feel honored to be able to nurture eggs while still maintaining the friendships of those that I found while evolving or cocooning. Yes, there are days that I feel as though my wings have been clipped but I just remember the evolution and that gives me the ability to soar on.

I can now say that if you are holding on to negative or meaningless friendships, maybe you should reconsider. How can they help you evolve? The sole thing that I consistently give thanks for daily, is the ability to evolve because it’s a beautiful indescribable thing. I am forever indebted to those who were with me during all of my stages and even as the evolution of Mila continues.

“Go and love someone exactly how they are. And then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest, truest version of themselves. When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered.” – Wes Angelozzi

-M

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Mila Rants…Again

I have been going back and forth with myself regarding my next blog post and what I wanted to write about and everything just seemed like it had a negative undertone. Right now, in this very moment, I do not feel centered. I am just going to sound off about some things that I feel may be bothering me due to my own selfish craving to gain my balance.

Follow The Leader

Too many chiefs, not enough Indians. Yes, I get this term, I know why it exists…blahzay blah but right now I feel like society is living backwards, there is an overabundance of followers and no leaders. We are on our way to hell in a hand basket. It’s disgusting, I feel like I encounter individuals on a daily basis who are too afraid to form their own opinion and they are literally waiting on the some girl on Facebook they haven’t talked to since high school to form it for them through her latest status update or post or whatever they are being called these days. Makes me want to gag, like seriously. I am one to march to the beat of my drum, even with no sticks. It has gotten me made fun of amongst many other things but at least I know who I am and how I feel, on my own. My goodness, wake up people. This goes across all generations, unfortunate. Didn’t your parents ever ask if that annoying ass question about jumping off the bridge with your friends? I guess not because I am convinced that a notable amount of today’s population would dive right on off that bridge with their homies. Our news is someone’s 140 character tweet, we should be ashamed. With an infinite amount of resources, there is no excuse. I mean I am talking from political views to what shoes to buy, no one thinks for themselves anymore. We live in a world full of clones, chameleons, and “Single White Females”. Bring originality back to life!

Yo Problems Aren’t Mine

As a human being who is out here trying to get it, I have issues. Now some of these issues that I have are petty like what nail color I should get the next time I got to the nail salon and some of them are life changing like choosing a career path and deciding who I want to be in society. We all have problems: big, small, medium, super-sized, whatever. But here is where I get bothered; I shouldn’t have to be smothered with your problems as an innocent bystander, co-coworker, stranger standing in the checkout out lane at the grocery store. Keep that shit to yourself, be more private. Quit posting snippets on Facebook or having conversations about it so loud that me, Tom, Dick, Harry and all of us can overhear. The bagger doesn’t want to hear about your husband and his girlfriend, save the drama for yo mama. Yes, we all have an off day where something crazy as eff happens and we have no choice but to interject some drama on some oblivious bystander but those should be moments that are few and far between. Tact, have some. I don’t want my ears beat up every day with someone else’s drama when I’m trying to read Bible scriptures, devotions, and quotes from Pinterest to get through mine. Goodness.

Fear of Flying

Fear is the enemy, the grim reaper, dude from Scream with the white mask on, like all of that. And I know this through and through but I keep on falling victim to it and oh not just me, people around me too! It pisses me off because right now its impacting every single aspect of my life. I have amazing things going on in my life but I am letting fear holding me back from taking some of those things to the next level. Just this week, I received some amazing news and fear has me afraid to fully bask in this news that is literally going to alter my life. I am fighting this battle every moment of every day. Fear will have you over thinking; it will have you doubting yourself, questioning your faith. It will have you in the same unhealthy relationships for years, same ole job you hate; it will even stop you from being happy, grasping success. Ugh, just so much. I won’t stop the fight; I just get a little irritated with myself for taking the victim role when it comes to fear itself. Fate loves the fearless, that’s real. Anything accomplishment worth mentioning occurred when I decided to beat fears ass!

I’m done ranting for now; I’m about to go and hug babies, run through a field of sunflowers, bake cookies or something to get back to a happy place.

“A clear conscience makes a soft pillow.” – African Proverb

-M