I Wore Heels and I Didn’t Die


As the poster child for all shoes flat, I rarely wear a shoe that has more than a one inch elevation. I only wear heels on certain occasions like never. Okay well honestly, I feel like on my birthday I should be sassy and put on a pair. Last year, I bought some that were my fav hue: black with my fav accent: gold. Did I ever wear them outside of my living room? No. I was walking like a tranny during her first trip down the runway when I tried them on but still packed them in my suitcase.

I put the whole heel thing on the back burner again until my birthday this year. I began to search for shoes that weren’t stripperheelesque. How did that even become a trend? After I gave up, I stumbled upon some at Kohl’s. I was only in that darned store because I made a trip to my hometown and forget my favorite bra. Kohl’s is the only place that can console my bust.

Oops, I digress, I stumbled upon a pair of nude patent leather Candies that were inspired by those strappy Manolo Blahnik’s with the “chaos cuff”. They were a splitting image of the $725 shoe right there on display for $30. I tried them on and could walk more than five steps so I bought them. Thanks again shoe gods. I wore them twice during my birthday trip/celebration to Georgia, it was great! I was proud. Small step for mankind, gigantic one for Mila!

On that Sunday night:


On that Monday night:


Watch me werk,