Keep it Sweet

My music choices are too eclectic to understand. No for real, they go from Gucci Mane to Anita Baker. But in the lyrics, I often find the sweetest messages. Where are you going with this Shemila? Is that what you are thinking? Anyways, it’s almost time for that date that you drew a heart around on your calendar, Valentine’s Day. If you know me personally, then you know that for the past X amount of years, I have been observing it as Single’s Awareness Day instead. The tables have turned and there is a lad who is crazy enough to want to share time with me on this day we call a Hallmark hoax when we are single or without a special someone to share it with. Okay back to the point I was making about song lyrics, I heard Chaka Khan’s Funny Valentine while listening to one of my fav albums, The Waiting to Exhale soundtrack, and it made me sorta mushy.  

She sings, “You make me smile with my heart”. Then she goes on to sing “Your looks are laughable, Un-photographable…yet, you’re my favorite work of art. “ And later she tells us that “Every day is Valentine’s Day.” I bet that she adores/adored the man behind these lyrics that she’s singing so freely. Her lyrics can be used to substantiate a point that I am always trying to reiterate when there is a holiday associated with the exchange of gifts. Gifts are great and make you feel good when received especially when extravagant or well thought out. But a material thing can never overshadow the way you make someone feel through your actions.

Some of us may only see the guy that has the heart eyed emoji by his name in our contacts once every few weeks and some may see this guy on a daily basis. If there is geographical distance, this only means that there are fewer opportunities for the indescribable feeling of gratitude to occur. That feeling that it is Valentine’s Day every day, every time that you interact. Don’t you want that goofy smile on your face all that time, you know, the one you have when you get a cute unexpected text message or email? See, you won’t have that same sort of smile when you open up that expensive perfume or those chocolate covered strawberries from Sherry’s Berries. I’m not saying that I won’t exchange gifts but I am saying that I am after what is intrinsic, those things we cannot explain or quantify. That’s what matters the most to me, those moments that put a smile on my face just before I go to sleep at night.

In my opinion, it’s important not to get caught up in materialism. I’ll take the shack with the man I love over the mansion with a man that it’s not real with. Humph, guess this can be another proclamation to add to my “I will not settle” memoirs. How will you be celebrating your boo, bae, husband, significant other, homie- lover- friend this year?

 Fight for the fairytale, it does exist.




The Shed

Man, it is really that time of year again. It’s time for my annual review – not only with my employer but for me personally. This is a time of reflection, soul searching and goal setting for me. I have realized so many things this year and have had many epiphanies and revelations in which I am grateful for. I can’t wait to embark on new adventures in year 2015 but in order for me to do that I need to shed some weight. I picked up a few pounds throughout the year in the form of people – they’ve gotta go!

I am an asset to the life of those that I love and if I am your friend, then I love you and I have no belief in half stepping. With that being said, there are some general criteria for those relationships will be left in 2014. If I do not understand why you are in my life, you will be left behind. If you do not hold yourself to a high standard or have goals and dreams, you are being left behind. If you are not fighting the battle, daily, for happiness, buh –bye. I am destined for greatness so anything that I have control over including personal relationships should contain sprinkles of inspiration and beauty. I need to be able to pick up the telephone and talk about my dreams and aspirations no matter how outlandish they are to anyone in my life and the response should be something as crazy and maybe even some encouragement, ya know? I have some major life changes to make next year and I don’t need anyone distracting me or bogging me down with negativity. I am up for the challenge and ready for the shed. I don’t need to make any sort of declaration to these individuals, they will just see the change in my stride and my lips will be sealed more often, ears may go deaf a little more, you get it. Will you join me in this challenge?

Let’s reflect and goal set!


Materialism Cleanse

This holiday season, I am having such a hard time getting into the spirit. It’s not because I don’t want to make the yuletide gay or jingle bells as I ride a sleigh pulled by that reindeer with the red nose but it’s because of the ever-growing greed of the American population. Am I the only person who knows and understands the reason for the season? My heart is almost broken when I think about the fact that retailers are opening their doors on Thanksgiving Day. What happened to being in a turkey induced coma and lying on the couch while you listened to your uncles and dad yell at the television as they watched football? What about going to visit your grandma in the nursing home instead of going to stand in line at Wal-Mart? That store is ugly anyhow, warm a heart instead. I’m not scrooge but it’s like I’m removed from this new way of thinking. Are we so materialistic that we will escape the time allotted to spend with our families to go stand in line to save five dollars on a board game?
It is at these times, that I am thankful for my upbringing. I am not ashamed to say that I was a spoiled child and literally always got what I wanted. It’s not because I was entitled, but it was because my parents were blessed enough to do so. They were also blessed enough to teach me how to appreciate everything that I was given and to teach me the meaning behind the gifts. Ever hear of the three Wise men? One of my coworkers shared that she did not have a religion but then she also shared that she had, “already gotten her Christmas shopping done.” Jesus is the reason for the season honey. Ignorance is one of my pet peeves, but sometimes it’s not even worth my energy to interject.
This holiday season is going to be about hugging and loving on my dear friends and family for me. I will still exchange gifts of course but I don’t have to buy the biggest and most flashy gifts in order to compensate because my friends and family know how much I care. I am not impressed by materialistic things and it’s my belief that the people who I let into my life are the same way. I give them gifts from my heart all year long. This is not an excuse just because my checking account isn’t as plump as it usually is this time of year! Before you go into debt, remember what the holiday season really means. Children should absolutely be spoiled and showered with gifts but we owe it to them to explain that life is more than about having the newest and shiniest possession. This is a plea; time is more valuable than any gift you can give. Personally, a hug and the words “I love you” are more valuable to me than any tangible gift. Happy Holidays! I’m proud to say that I am cleansed from materialism and it feels wonderful!