Mila is Still Ranting

Three years later and I am still ranting. Every January disappoints me. When that clock turns to 12:01am, I am looking for grand things to occur. But guess what? Those things are totally up to me. The clock’s hand turning does not whip my chipped nails into a perfect gel manicure nor does it lighten up the dim and sometimes dank work environment that I must endure. It is up to me to take care of my nails and to bring my own damn sunshine into the office. What a JIP! No one ever says that, where is the magic? Do all of the people making posts and declaring the new year to be theirs and even going on to indicate what will be different in the 12 months to come understand this? That faith without works is dead? Do they get it? Nothing makes me more unsettled than someone making declarations into the universe about what they are going to do only for me to watch them do NOTHING different. And then have the audactity to complain, girrrllllll….OMG, Am I annoying?

Someone once told me that I notice everything. I do! I really do. I’ve had a recurring goal to mind my business but paying attention just comes so naturally to me. I can tell you where all the potholes lie on my way to work, the price of gas on each side of town that I go through during my morning commute, and what everyone was wearing that I encountered on my way to my office, down to their shoes. It is just a part of my DNA makeup or something.  It is hard for other people outside of my tribe to “get me” so why even try? Why, like why?

All in all, January has been an uninspiring month for me. I am ranting rather than putting together a collective thought, uninspired. I started to teach my self how to run and after successfully completing week two, I fell ill and am now off track, uninspired. To put the cherry on the sundae, I had a gym date that left me for dead and didn’t even check on me when I didn’t show up, uninspired. Actually pissed! You give and give and what the hell do you get back? I know, I know, the universe, God and stuff, they give you your rewards back in other ways but dang , sometimes it’s hard to remember that when you are overcome with the instant gratification disease.

Even after saying all of this though, just know that you can’t keep a player down. I am going to be good, this I know! I am strong and independent and my bounce back game is strong. I don’t mind putting in the work and with my new found ability to be patient, I am well-equipped to welcome what the last week of the month has to bring me. January, don’t let me down; let me get these laps in! I have been under a blanket of irritability for the last few days, not going to lie. I think it is because I am upset with myself for breaking my selfish vow. Self is first; I must take care of me. I have learned that the most eye-opening and gratifying parts of my journey are those ones that I experienced alone. Ugh, and my battle with accepting friendships that don’t fully embody reciprocity. Dare I declare the month of February, the month of solitude? I need a reset.

I am not crazy ya’ll, I’m just being honest.

“I am learning to trust the journey, even when I don’t understand it.” – Mila Bron

-M

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Going Tribal

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I am constantly making discoveries, finding out more about myself and then gaining confirmation from unconventional places. I cannot believe it’s time to wrap up another year though, crazy. I feel like I was just sharing my last day of the year experience for 2015. Lately pop culture has embraced this thing where you find your tribe, your squad, your people or whatever you want to call it. There are bracelets, T-shirts, beanies, all types of paraphernalia that can be used once you realize what tribe you belong to and want to rep your set. This week, I conform. I know what tribe I belong to and furthermore have turned it into a goal for myself for a new year.

I am a doer, a go-getter, I make it happen. I don’t talk about what I need to do; I put an action plan together and get moving. My favorite affirmation was stolen from a Martin episode. “Ain’t nothing to it but to do it”, it was Season 3, Episode 16 to be exact.  This term is also defined in the Urban Dictionary as a statement of raw simplicity, implying that all it takes is hard, not necessarily intelligent, work and effort. But anyways, that affirmation is something that I always use because really an idea/desire is just that until you get off your ass and make it happen. When I look up and examine my circle of friends as of late, the vast majority of them are a part of this tribe. They are all very different people but when I look at them individually, everyone is doing something to be better, to find happiness, to reach what they consider to be their “end game”.  And for a lack of a better term, “That’s Dope!”

I think that since I found my worth and grew my confidence over the past three to four years, I have been fighting the fact that being around people who are not in my tribe is a detriment to me. In my opinion, it is not okay to make excuses and then use them as crutches. It is not okay to want a pat on the back for doing what you are supposed to be doing. It IS okay to lay down in bed most nights knowing that you did all you could in that day to be great and even grow into being a better person, fighting for your dreams. Maybe I am being a B-word about this but I feel like that is how I come off sometimes when I am trying to get where I want to be and work on myself. That’s fine. My goal is to finally severe those ties binding me to anyone who isn’t a part of my tribe.

Say Goodbye to Mediocrity in 2017. Find your tribe, love them hard.

-M

Scared of Beautiful

  
On 12/31 at 11:59am, I sat on a pew in some place familiar; the church I was raised in, it was where my second family resided as I was growing up. I was sitting between my sister who has been given that title due to our history and my two favorite people, my niece and my mom. Being in this place in that moment, I could not help but to have flashes of nostalgia followed by thoughts of the future. Everyone is so into making resolutions and really for me, I’m not into that. I have always had goals, from the moment I got my first journal probably around age eight or nine. The goals are in range from very short term like what I want to achieve during the upcoming week to very long term, where I want to be in a year, two years, etc. I have a rough idea of where I want to escalate to in life and I’ve realized that it is not about what I have to do to get there but more about what’s holding me back. What are the fears that are not contributing to my acceleration?
Fate loves the fearless, fate loves the fearless, I literally repeat this to myself on a regular basis. It’s so freaking true. There is this song by Brandy called Scared of Beautiful that basically sums up what I’m trying to convey, the purpose of this post.

Here’s part of the chorus:

No wonder why

There’s no mirrors on these walls no more

You can’t tell me why

You’re so terrified of beautiful

Scared of the good

More than the evil

Scared of the light

More than the dark

Scared of the truth so much more than the lie

I’m scared for me

*sigh* So, can someone be so complacent that they become fearful of the possibilities of being fully happy and fully whole? Are we afraid to relinquish and be vulnerable in order to obtain something that we have been seeking, something that we have never had before? In my day to day interactions I am exposed to people who reside on both sides of the spectrum. I’m acquainted with a woman who took a crazy leap and is happier than she has ever been before. She stepped out on faith, the faith that she could be happier once she stopped settling. On the other end, there is another acquaintance who I am convinced is satisfied with being mediocre even if it means being unhappy because of fear. Can someone be fearful of being happy? Smiling at the little things, just wrapped up in a bubble of bliss? Who doesn’t want that, right? As I get closer and closer to being whole and a more delighted being, I do think about how easily things could tumble down but those thoughts dissipate almost immediately when my mind feels the flutters of my heart.

 So in 2016, I challenge you to relinquish, release, and stop being scared. Raise your hands and surrender, let the negative thoughts roll down your back and welcome the new, the thoughts of excelling, and surprising everyone, even yourself. I do small things almost on a daily basis to push myself and often cry when I achieve these things or complete the associated tasks. Those tears are a mixture of being proud of me for making the action and being disappointed in me for actually entertaining the thought of not making the action that I did.

 If your goals don’t scare you they aren’t big enough but don’t ever let the fear cause hesitation.

 -M

 

 

The Shed

Man, it is really that time of year again. It’s time for my annual review – not only with my employer but for me personally. This is a time of reflection, soul searching and goal setting for me. I have realized so many things this year and have had many epiphanies and revelations in which I am grateful for. I can’t wait to embark on new adventures in year 2015 but in order for me to do that I need to shed some weight. I picked up a few pounds throughout the year in the form of people – they’ve gotta go!

I am an asset to the life of those that I love and if I am your friend, then I love you and I have no belief in half stepping. With that being said, there are some general criteria for those relationships will be left in 2014. If I do not understand why you are in my life, you will be left behind. If you do not hold yourself to a high standard or have goals and dreams, you are being left behind. If you are not fighting the battle, daily, for happiness, buh –bye. I am destined for greatness so anything that I have control over including personal relationships should contain sprinkles of inspiration and beauty. I need to be able to pick up the telephone and talk about my dreams and aspirations no matter how outlandish they are to anyone in my life and the response should be something as crazy and maybe even some encouragement, ya know? I have some major life changes to make next year and I don’t need anyone distracting me or bogging me down with negativity. I am up for the challenge and ready for the shed. I don’t need to make any sort of declaration to these individuals, they will just see the change in my stride and my lips will be sealed more often, ears may go deaf a little more, you get it. Will you join me in this challenge?

Let’s reflect and goal set!

-M

The Art of Being Selfish

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It’s tradition to be cliché on the last day of the year and reflect on the past year while simultaneously projecting on the future. I am a firm believer in the whole actions speak louder than words thing so I usually don’t have the hankering to share my thoughts with everyone. This year, I am going to be a little different since I have been an inspiration to some! Whoaaaa that’s really a mouthful, I’m seriously flattered and floored each time someone respects my thoughts and opinions, I’m thinking it’s a blessing to be able to share and spark something in others. Okay so if I could only suggest one goal for the next year, it would be to learn how to be selfish when necessary. I know I know, who is this single girl with no kids talking to? “I have kids, I have a husband, blah blah blah”…LISTEN! I’m talking to every single one of you, no matter your living situation or social status.

First, I think it’s important that we extract the negative connotation built around being selfish. One of my favorite resources, Dictionary.com, defines the word selfish as: devoted to or caring for oneself. Take some time for yourself! Are you hiding from yourself? I think many of us do for avoidance reasons. The greatest feeling is being in tune with your inner being. I dare you to sit in quiet with yourself for five minutes per day and just listen to your thoughts. Take a note pad and dream a little, get your creativity cranking! You can’t be happy without knowing what you want and ultimately working towards it! This is a Shemilaism, it’s one of my strongest beliefs. I have loosely quantified my goals and incorporated them into something visual; a mixture between a vision and goal board. During my five minutes, I’ll be peering at my visual for self-inspiration. Ya see through learning how to be selfish, I’ve learned how to inspire myself! If you have no direction, how do you know where you are going? A life with no goals is like leaving for a trip with no GPS, you will just be going in circles and your destination will never be reached.

Secondly, you should always make a vow to strive to be true and raw with yourself. Pull the wool from over your eyes and face the truth. This can sometimes be hard because living in denial doesn’t hurt as much as facing the truth. The hurt from the truth will serve as a building block in your strength chronicles. When you vow to keep it real with yourself, it becomes easier to distinguish what’s real and fake outside of yourself. None of this comes from a light place because I have faced the nasty truth several times and don’t believe in sugar coating or beating around any bushes. The initial sting may hurt but after pain there is relief, sort of like getting a tattoo. When you are going through it, it does hurt but the end result is something beautiful and something that you desired very much so. You desired it enough to commit to go through the pain.

Thirdly, accept feedback from others and be willing to lend truthful feedback as well. I believe that as a friend, it is my due diligence to always be real. I do not befriend fools and it’s important that if I think someone is going in a foolish direction or on the verge of making a foolish decision that I interject. I don’t fear losing a friendship over telling the truth because if there is no platform for the truth, I shouldn’t be present in the relationship. My friends often seek my opinion because they know it will be raw and nonbiased. I have a circle of fam and friends whom I can honestly say are rooting for me in EVERYTHING that I do and are my biggest fans. Can you say the same? At any point if there is some sort of dishonesty or excessive negativity, the weakest link has to go, goodbye. This is another variation of the ability to be selfish, don’t lose yourself holding onto something that isn’t real!

In being raw and truthful with yourself, you know when it’s okay to be selfish. By knowing when to be selfish, you are working on a better you and therefore your loved ones will benefit. Don’t be afraid to tell others no when you are being pulled in too many directions, your inner being will thank you. I think that often times people forget how easily we can be influenced and affected by the thoughts and actions of others. I am selfish enough to enter hibernation when and I need to and my closest friends and family understand that this is just me tunneling towards my dreams. There are some points in my life that nearly everything is dropped but my work ethic, while I shoot for the stars.

I charge everyone with the task of getting to know you better and converting thoughts into realistic goals. Turn your GPS on and set the destination for happiness. Let’s toast to last year’s trials and next year’s triumphs!

Until next time,

-M