Patience to Settle

I really feel like I need a support group. Some place I can go and just talk some things out. I know that there are tons of people who are just like me. Tons of people who are at the brink of making a crazy leap but still have that daunting fear of falling flat on their face. I know I’m always preaching about fate loving fearless beings. So, what the hell is my problem? Right now, I’m working a job that is stunting my growth and I feel like my wings are clipped every time I sit down at my desk. I yearn for a more challenging and thriving environment, one that is conducive to molding my creativity while I am building stronger technical skills. So what am I waiting for? Am I being patient or am I settling? I think that a dissection is necessary for me to try to discern what’s holding me back.

Settling

Do me a favor and Google search, “quotes about settling”. You will be bombarded with tons of quotes that will aid you in empowering yourself to keep moving or to say “No” on your quest to fight for what you want. I think that many people only look at settling in the context of romantic relationships. There is the risk of settling in every aspect of our lives from settling for the potato chips instead demanding from self to do better and hop off the couch and cut up some crunchy veggies to make a healthier option. You can settle with your employer – “Oh, they give me freedom and so much vacation time”. “I have tenure here; I don’t want to start all over again”.

Settling is synonymous with being comfortable. I don’t want to be comfy; I want to be wiggling around, making moves, striving for better, building an empire for myself. How can I do that in the comfort zone? I can’t. This also means I have to extradite people from my life who live in a comfort zone as well. Yes, that’s criminal. How can I thrive with mediocrity all around me? I can’t.

Being Patience

I am one hundred percent sure that patience is my ultimate test. I fail almost on a daily basis and being impatient is why I am not as far as I believe I should be in life. In the past, it has caused me to be unsuccessful in many aspects of my life from financial status to my health and even in friendships/relationships. So right now, where I’m standing, I want to make sure that I make my next move for reasons other than impatience dominating the scenario. I always have a plan but sometimes my impatience causes me to deviate. I have been on track with a career goal that I constructed over a year ago. I have jumped many hurdles that were lined with mini tests of patience but how do I know when to make a major move and that I’m doing it for the right reason? This is why I feel stuck. I feel like this is my biggest test of patience yet and I truly don’t want to fail. Ugh, is that fear sneaking back in? Or am I really supposed to wait?

Now that you can see my plight, it should be more evident as to why I believe that a support group would be beneficial for me. Is there anyone else in this same place as I right now in life? I’m trying to remember my worth, remember what I deserve, and be patient at the same time; a virtual and emotional juggling act for sure.

I’m going to drop this Amelia Earhart quote right here that has been stuck with me this week and drop the mic:

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.”

 Until next time,

-M

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The Art of Being Selfish

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It’s tradition to be cliché on the last day of the year and reflect on the past year while simultaneously projecting on the future. I am a firm believer in the whole actions speak louder than words thing so I usually don’t have the hankering to share my thoughts with everyone. This year, I am going to be a little different since I have been an inspiration to some! Whoaaaa that’s really a mouthful, I’m seriously flattered and floored each time someone respects my thoughts and opinions, I’m thinking it’s a blessing to be able to share and spark something in others. Okay so if I could only suggest one goal for the next year, it would be to learn how to be selfish when necessary. I know I know, who is this single girl with no kids talking to? “I have kids, I have a husband, blah blah blah”…LISTEN! I’m talking to every single one of you, no matter your living situation or social status.

First, I think it’s important that we extract the negative connotation built around being selfish. One of my favorite resources, Dictionary.com, defines the word selfish as: devoted to or caring for oneself. Take some time for yourself! Are you hiding from yourself? I think many of us do for avoidance reasons. The greatest feeling is being in tune with your inner being. I dare you to sit in quiet with yourself for five minutes per day and just listen to your thoughts. Take a note pad and dream a little, get your creativity cranking! You can’t be happy without knowing what you want and ultimately working towards it! This is a Shemilaism, it’s one of my strongest beliefs. I have loosely quantified my goals and incorporated them into something visual; a mixture between a vision and goal board. During my five minutes, I’ll be peering at my visual for self-inspiration. Ya see through learning how to be selfish, I’ve learned how to inspire myself! If you have no direction, how do you know where you are going? A life with no goals is like leaving for a trip with no GPS, you will just be going in circles and your destination will never be reached.

Secondly, you should always make a vow to strive to be true and raw with yourself. Pull the wool from over your eyes and face the truth. This can sometimes be hard because living in denial doesn’t hurt as much as facing the truth. The hurt from the truth will serve as a building block in your strength chronicles. When you vow to keep it real with yourself, it becomes easier to distinguish what’s real and fake outside of yourself. None of this comes from a light place because I have faced the nasty truth several times and don’t believe in sugar coating or beating around any bushes. The initial sting may hurt but after pain there is relief, sort of like getting a tattoo. When you are going through it, it does hurt but the end result is something beautiful and something that you desired very much so. You desired it enough to commit to go through the pain.

Thirdly, accept feedback from others and be willing to lend truthful feedback as well. I believe that as a friend, it is my due diligence to always be real. I do not befriend fools and it’s important that if I think someone is going in a foolish direction or on the verge of making a foolish decision that I interject. I don’t fear losing a friendship over telling the truth because if there is no platform for the truth, I shouldn’t be present in the relationship. My friends often seek my opinion because they know it will be raw and nonbiased. I have a circle of fam and friends whom I can honestly say are rooting for me in EVERYTHING that I do and are my biggest fans. Can you say the same? At any point if there is some sort of dishonesty or excessive negativity, the weakest link has to go, goodbye. This is another variation of the ability to be selfish, don’t lose yourself holding onto something that isn’t real!

In being raw and truthful with yourself, you know when it’s okay to be selfish. By knowing when to be selfish, you are working on a better you and therefore your loved ones will benefit. Don’t be afraid to tell others no when you are being pulled in too many directions, your inner being will thank you. I think that often times people forget how easily we can be influenced and affected by the thoughts and actions of others. I am selfish enough to enter hibernation when and I need to and my closest friends and family understand that this is just me tunneling towards my dreams. There are some points in my life that nearly everything is dropped but my work ethic, while I shoot for the stars.

I charge everyone with the task of getting to know you better and converting thoughts into realistic goals. Turn your GPS on and set the destination for happiness. Let’s toast to last year’s trials and next year’s triumphs!

Until next time,

-M

Speak Volumez

One of the keys to having a happy life is to surround yourself with those who are driven and those who inspire you. As I have gotten older, I have learned that quality really does trump quantity when it comes to every aspect of life, especially friendships. I met the owner and operator of Volumez Styling many years ago and her style itself speaks volumes! To me she has been a beaming light of confidence, flare, and style so I was stoked when she shared her plan to endeavor into the fashion business! She has taken her zesty New Jersey style, east coast charm, and bold fashion sense and decided to help others out by offering styling and providing personal shopping services. Her zest for life and spunky personality make the experience one of a kind. I took a few moments to get into this young entrepreneurs head with a quick Q &A sesh:

Q: What inspired you to begin your own business?

A: I’ve always known, I would one day run my own company. I’m very independent and driven when it comes to business. My family is a great source of inspiration, I only want to make them proud.

Q: How long have you been styling?

A: Professionally a little under year, however I’ve been styling myself since I was a teenager. The tender age of 11, my mother always allowed me to dress myself and where whatever hairstyle I wanted. Creative freedom allowed me to find my true passion in fashion.

Q: What influences your style?

A: I like to have a mixture of everything when I’m getting dressed. The Hip Hop culture has my attention with the big accessories, sweat shirts, baggy pants. On the other side I’m such a girlie girl, tutus make me happy, stilettos, bright colors and anything sparkly. My most recent obsession is tribal prints, African wear and statement necklaces. I’m in character whenever It’s time to get dressed, the question is always “who do you want to be today?”

Q: How much do you think geography plays into someone’s personal style?

A: You can definitely tell where someone is from by their style of dress. Meanwhile you have those misfits that don’t belong anywhere. Those are the people I look up to, their the fashion rebel with no apologies. I’m a risk taker when it comes to fashion, I don’t like looking like everyone else.

Q: Where do you see Volume Styling five years from now?

A: I see the company having at least two brick and mortar stores located between Tampa FL and Ohio. Thriving online and extending the brand, we providing styling and image consultations as this present time. However I would like to see what we can do for the big screen. I have a passion for editorial work and short films. You can be whoever you want to be in that setting. So this too is a goal of mines for the company.

Q: What type of services do you currently offer your clients?Are there other areas that you wish to grow into?

A: We offer personal shopping, image consultant and wardrobe styling. However we do carry accessories, handbags and women’s apparel. I do offer personal shopping services for both men and women and love to help find special pieces for special events!

Q: What were your favorite trends during the summer season?

A: Skater skirts, bandeau tops, boots with shorts and the must have Kimono jacket! We will be featuring these item on the website.

Q: How can prospective clients get in contact with you?

A: I’m very personal when it comes to business all calls come directly to me or I can be reached by email, either one is fine. No office hours, I work for you!

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Volumez is cost conscious and perfect for those who are looking for some help on turning the volume on their style. I am a fan, supporter, and customer! I personally cannot wait to see what is in store for this young entrepreneur, its only the beginning!

Here’s how you can get in touch when you’re ready to pump up your volume:
Myiesha Wilson
609 933-0644
volumestyling@gmail.com
volumestyling.com
Facebook: Volumez Volumestyling

*All fashions shown in photos can be found by using the above contact information.