The Single Chronicles

Well just to prove that I really am in the dating pool, I visited my online dating profile this week. As soon as the site let the fellas know I was “online now” the messages came. Not going to lie and say it was a total bust but this message right here gave me a laugh for sure, enjoy:

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Keep me in your prayers,

-M

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Search and You Will Find

trust

Trust Issues…Wow these two words together are impactful, that’s one thing that I know for certain. I can only speak on this subject from what I have observed because I don’t believe that I personally have an issue with trust. That’s right no daddy issues, no abandonment trauma, and no heart breaks…this means that I can speak on this subject from a place that most can’t. I have no reason to not believe what someone in my life tells me unless I visually see that something else is occurring or has occurred. I really do believe that everyone that I have let into my world has my best interest at heart. I think that for a woman of my age, I am more naïve than most, but this is perfectly fine with me. Being naïve leaves many aspects of life pure and uncontaminated, it’s a beautiful thing. A little purity in such a dark, cold, and dirty world can hardly be seen as a negative thing.

When a person comes up in conversation that I love, I speak of them in the highest regard and defend them when necessary. If I cannot do this, well…you aren’t my friend. If you aren’t my friend then you aren’t privy to my daily life. Ahhhhh, its refreshing thinking about that and how much time and experience it took for me to get to this point in life. Once I realized that everyone had a price on their forehead and I didn’t always have to find a way to afford some of those costly and tolling friendships, the quality of my life improved greatly. Who are you paying for that you can’t afford? Why haven’t you walked away and saved your money?

I digress, back to the trust issues. Okay so am I crazy or do you only look for things that you want to find? Car keys, your cellphone, your dad that you never met, your friend that got swallowed up by the cereal aisle in Kroger, the proper over the counter drug for your temporary ailment, oh you get my point by now, right? Alright so when a partner, spouse, fiancé or whomever starts snooping through their mate’s cellphone, Facebook, Email, or whatever, what does that mean? Does that mean that the trust has diminished? If I’m with you, I trust you. If I trust you, I have nothing to look for…right? It makes me wonder if I am the only one who feels this way when I see girlfriends commenting on every Facebook status or Instagram photo uploaded as if they are pissing on a tree like a dog to mark their territory. Some mates even go as far as sending a message to someone whom they seen leave a comment to stake their claim. When individuals enter into commitment, doesn’t their action tell everyone else to fall back? Okay, if you are reading this and you agree, can you scream out just to let me know that I am not out of my mind?

I am the type that does not feel the need to snoop for information. I trust first and this will never change. Without a shadow of a doubt, I have EVERYONE in my life’s best interest at heart and I have faith that they feel the same way about me. I will never jeopardize what’s right by telling someone I don’t trust them by snooping. The moment you feel the need to snoop, the trust is gone. If the trust is gone, well so is the relationship.
Gaining back lost trust is nearly impossible. If you don’t trust someone, they don’t belong in your life…AT ALL.

This post was brought to you by events that occurred during my weekend.

PS Stop saying “Trust No One”, you sound like a bunch of dumb asses!

-M

Technology: The Secrecy Thief

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As I’ve scrolled through my timeline on any given social network, I’ve been met with pictures of ultrasounds, babies with vaginal mucus on them, announcements of relationship status changes, and so many other private matters. I’m no hater and I have nothing but respect for the creation of life and will congratulate or compliment when necessary, but how am I, the girl who you worked with ten years ago more privy to information that you haven’t even shared with your extended family yet? The use of the internet and cellular devices has blurred the lines between what’s sacred and what should be public. Personally, I feel uncomfortable knowing about every argument you and your “baby daddy” have. Thank the internet gods for the block button! I have a spirit that is shy, goofy, and sensitive – so often times I don’t know if I should laugh, cry, or blush upon reading some of the things that are shared. I have been out to dinner with folks who let their food get cold as they try to get the picture of it for upload onto the internet for their followers to see. This is jaw dropping for me and a bit obsessive.

If you’ve read any of my other posts or know me in the flesh, you know that I am single. So of course, I have an overflowing amount of thoughts and theories on how the internet affects relationships and dating. A person is often times leading a double life via their social network which raises tons of issues. Let me break down a few types of those social network users for the purpose of putting things into perspective:

Sorrow-Filled Sally: This is the girl who is seeking some sort of attention but she isn’t sure what. She will fill your newsfeed with sorrow in all forms including pictures and sad quotes. She happens to know about all of the bad things going in the news and everyone in her town who dies. If anything negative occurs, Sorrow-Filled Sally will know before TMZ and she can’t wait to update her status or post a picture related to the event. Nothing good ever happens to Sorrow-Filled Sally and her negative posts will enter your spirit unknowingly and potentially ruin your day. Let Sally wallow in her sadness alone and steer clear, even if she’s your mom.

Bitter Betty: Betty is so bitter that the irritation flows through everything that she does. Bitter Betty has made some poor choice, is definitely single and she is angry at everything but mostly herself. Bitter Betty will be the only one who does not like you’re statuses or compliment any of your photos. She is filled with so much anger that you could be Jesus himself and it would not change her attitude. Just let Betty be bitter and stay away from this contagious type. She would love to suck the joy out of you.

Attention Seeking Andy: Oh Andy is just a jerk or at least tries to play the role of one. Andy will take any Attention rather it is positive or negative. He will post less than favorable pictures with the sole purpose of gaining a reaction. Andy does nothing but search the internet all day to find something to post on a social network, God bless his soul. We can only pray that one day Andy gets a girlfriend or realizes that he is missing out on many things in life due to his weird need to gain attention from a boat load of people who do not care.

Stunting Stan: We all know Stan. He only posts pictures when he buys something and it seems like he has never earned a favorable possession in his life. No one really knows Stan’s purpose of posting every pair of tennis shoes that he buys or his gaming systems. Perhaps Stan wants to get robbed, can anyone else think of a motive that Stan may have?

Perception Patty: Patty is one of my favorites. Patty will only post pictures after she has added at least three filters because she has to appear perfect. Patty wants everyone to perceive that her life is extremely perfect. Patty is usually miserable and single but she has a way with angles and her front facing camera that will give any professional photographer a run for their money. Just pray for Patty as you read her posts and look at her pictures. Hopefully one day Patty will realize that flaws are more attractive than the fact that she is obsessed with how she is perceived. Patty may not even know who she is, poor thing.

I could really go on and on with several different characters but my point is that we spend so much time on the internet that we begin to seek things from people who do not matter. I wouldn’t mind going back to my first cell phone, a red Nokia with the black letters on a green background for the screen. There was just something more pure about the cell phone with antennas. It seems like then, we only used the phone for calls and we actually talked to one another. A text will never be as intimate as a verbal conversation. The fact that we are sharing with the sacrifice of enjoying the actual thing that we are sharing is sad in itself. I personally am going to work on weaning myself from my iPhone and spend more time stopping and smelling the roses. Why don’t you join me?